User blog:DancePowderer/OPBBC: Pre-game

Well, Hody and his friends are defeated and qualify for social security, half of the Straw Hats are partied out, and the island is behind on a payment with a Yonko involved. Let's see if we can't crunch these numbers. Welcome to another episode of One Piece Battle Betting Corner. As always, I'm your host, DancePowderer. This episode, we're going to put some money to the madness behind the sweet money churned out by the candy factory. As always, we have a guest panel. Help me welcome The Minister of the Left, Neptune, and one of Big Mam's representatives, Baron Tamago. Well, let's start with the big fish, and some backstory. Neptune, minister, for those who don't know, what exactly is the deal made with Charlotte Linlin?

Neptune: Well, after Whitebeard died, the island was left virtually defenseless. We can manage ourselves, but he kept the bulk of the trouble away. For a few months, the army was busier than ever, performing routine patrols, keeping everything in check, making sure pirates behaved themselves. But, we were reaching our limit. We stretched our resources as far as we could, but ultimately our grip over crime began to loosen. Just when things were about to go to hell, Charlotte stepped in and took the burden. She only asked that we provide her with fee.

DP: Were you surprised when she asked to be paid in candy?

MoL: Yes, we were, but we didn't question it. We were so grateful to her that we didn't stop to consider anything. We made the monthly candy quotas and that was that. The factory provided jobs and it seemed like a good thing. Ms. Linlin seemed like a nice enough person. She has other capital investments in the New World, so we weren't surprised when she asked for the payments. When she told us to never be late or miss a payment, we just thought she liked punctuality. Things went fine, until about five months after her protection started. One of the machines in the factory malfunctioned, and so we worked through the night fixing it. We still had about 20 kilos of candy to make still. Tamago remembers what happened. She wanted to see our factory. After she had a tour, she just wanted to collect the candy and go, but she had to wait fifteen minutes while we finished making enough for the quota. She was not happy.

DP: What happened?

Neptune: You know the mermaid dormitories?

DP: Yeah.

Neptune: They used to be for fishmen and were above water.

DP: Damn. So when she's pissed, she remodels.

MoL: Basically. She said that she wouldn't be so nice next time. And last time we were able to meet the quota. I shudder to think what will happen when she finds out we can't make the payment.

DP: Well, let's see if we can find that out. Baron Tamago, enlighten us, please.

Tamago: Well, how should I put this... Have you heard of the island Kiliani?

DP: No.

Tamago: Exactly. They got behind on a payment of cake once, and now they'll never get behind or ahead on anything again. And that was her on a good day. The only thing Fishman Island has going for it is it's underwater and destroying it means mutual destruction. She will be pissed, though. The island will be remodeled, as DP put it.

DP: So, to put it simply, she's her own Buster Call.

Tamago: Bingo.

DP: You have you work cut out for you....I'm being told by my producer that we have the Minister of the Right on the Den Den Mushi. Good evening, minister.

MoR: Hello, thank you for having me.

DP: How are you dealing with the candy deficit?

MoR: Well, part of the factory is still functional, so people are working now to make as much as they can from there. We've also called on every private bakery on the island. We won't make the quota, but if we explain the situation, I'm sure she'll understand.

Tamago: AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! You are so f#%ked!

DP: What other measures are you taking?

MoR: We're asking the Straw Hats to stick around for a while longer at our expense. They're thrilled. We've also got our entire infantry division taking simultaneous begging lessons, taught by the princes and princess, who will also be participating.. We're also bringing in all the children on the island to help with the begging. Mr. Bokoms is helping with the preparations.

DP: Sounds promising. You really fortified your defenses.

MoR: We're doing all that we can.

DP: Well, that's the skinny of the whole situation. Now, normally I would ask our guests to place their bets, but as I remember, the palace vault was cleaned out by a psychopath. Tamago, I don't know what your financial situation is, but since you have not appeared yet, you therefore do not exist and cannot bet. So, we'll go to the phones. Our first caller is Luffy from Ryugu. Luffy, you're on the air.

Luffy: Hi grandpa Neptune! I don't know what's going on but I'll bet 123,000 beli that everything will be ok!

DP: Thank you. Shanks from the New World, you're on the air.

Shanks (in hysterics): Run! Run for your lives! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Charlotte Linlin makes what happened in Ohara look like a nonviolent standoff. 2 million beli that you're all going to die.

DP: Strong words from a strong pirate with a lot of cash. Ok, last caller. Fukaboshi, from Ryugu. You're on the air.

Fukaboshi: I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is the Straw Hats and Jinbe agreed to stick around to help should they be needed. The bad news is that Mr. Bokoms just ate a rack of meat Luffy was saving. As you can guess, Luffy was not happy. Bokoms is now unconscious. However, before he passed out...well, he... how should I put this....

Neptune: Out with it, boy!

Fukaboshi: He tattled.

MoL: What?

Fukaboshi: He tattled. Big Mam is on her way here.

Neptune: When did this happen?

Fukaboshi: About ten minutes ago. 42 million beli on Luffy saving us. I'm in front of a crowd so I have to say that.

DP: Well that's all the time we have for this show. Tune in next time, where hopefully we can shed more light on what's about to happen.