User blog:Kaido King of the Beasts/Admiral Maynard's Guide to Adminship

This wiki is going through a great crossroads that has happened three times in the last year. No one's really into it at this point, but now it's time to elect new admins after sending Calu to the fungeon. There are many good users who are qualified, but many of them don't really know the ins and outs of adminship. But have no fear, because this blog will teach you how to be one and save this wiki from the brutal tyranny of JSD and Kage.

It may come as a surprise, but I have no experience being an admin whatsoever, which is why I'm not gonna present this lesson. Instead, I was able to interview a great man recently promoted to admiral by the Mangapanda Association, LLC. He's had a lot of experience on the job over the past year, and rumors are he's about to be promoted to Fleet Admiral. Presenting...MAYNARD!!!

When Admiral Maynard was first promoted, he quickly found himself in a sticky situation. He was feeling the pain of Sabo and Issho's victory, and admins must also feel the pain of the vandals' and trolls' victory. The first thing you need to know is...you can't win. These guys asexually reproduce 76 times every day, and are marked by their fundamental lack of the English language. Even users who you may have thought to be your friends may contribute to this victory, like Maynard's subordinate Tora Fuji. But if you can't get rid of them, how can you be a good admin? I talked to Maynard, and he offered these simple and effective tips.

1. Spread chaos across the wiki
Wait, arent admins supposed to work for the good of the wiki? Yeah, they are, but to have any hope of maintaining order you sometimes need to beat the vandals and trolls at their own game. By using your great admin powers to throw the wiki into chaos, you show the vandals and trolls that their efforts dont matter and cant possibly compare to anything you do. Bored, theyĺl leave and never come back. Instant success! Of course, if you do this right the wiki will be thrown into chaos, but hey, youre an admin. You have much capabilities, so force all the regular users to repair the wiki under the threat of a ban.

2. Broadcast your victory to other wikis
Just as you did, now its time for all the other wikis to feel the pain of your victory! Show vandals and trolls from other wikis that they have no reason to join your wiki. Offer nonexistent rewards for other users to join and help fix the One Piece Wiki. You can even broadcast it to Community Central, because staff and VSTF are actually like the Queen of England and hold no real power.

3. Drive out all the good editors
Soon, the rebuilding effort will be nearly complete, and the users helping to rebuild will talk amongst themselves without your permission. They will question their purpose on this wiki and will start thinking treasonous thoughts against your divine adminship. This is rather common amongst great empires, and great rulers responded to this the right way: by driving out the traitors forever. They may have served you well in the past, but are only a detriment to the wiki by questioning your leadership. On their "Contributions" page is a button saying "Block"; it's free to use on days ending in y!

Those are three simple steps to become Wikia's top administrator. Hopefully anyone on the adminship ballot, and even current administrators, takes a good look at this and follows it. I also recommend that if you ever have a problem, the wise ears of Admiral Maynard are never too weary to listen to you. Please note that I am not responsible for anything resulting from adherence to these teachings, because like the staff I don't really exist and don't know how to write good.

The admin nominations are in full swing, and I strongly suggest you participate and nominate great and admin-worthy users such as User:Roranoa Drake II, User:Galaxy9000, and User:Leman-Russkin.

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