User blog:Kaido King of the Beasts/Fleet Admiral Election

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! '''THE FLEET ADMIRAL ELECTIONS HAVE CONCLUDED. READ BELOW TO FIND OUT WHO WON!'''

'''It was a long and hard-fought battle, but Eyelashes took the election by a landslide, with 5 votes as compared to George Black's 2 and everyone else's 0. Upon entering office, the first act he decreed was the firing of all the male Marines, as well as requiring that all taxes be paid in apples. However, Sakazuki had none of it, and organized some Marines to reclaim Marineford. However, Kuzan didn't want Sakazuki to usurp the office of Fleet Admiral, so he got another faction of Marines to depose of Eyelashes first. Borsalino, meanwhile, sat in a beach chair drinking martinis, George Black found Newkama Land and forgot about his run for Fleet Admiral, and Sakazuki stuffed a woman named Sarfunkel in a barrel and shipped her to Gaimon's island to distract him.

Sakazuki got to Eyelashes first, and defeated him in a vicious round of Poker in which face muscles were stretched to their absolute limit, 45 counts of cheating were called, and sweat, blood, and tears were shed. Eventually, Sakazuki obtained a Fleet Admiral Flush, thus defeating Eyelashes and claiming the position of Fleet Admiral. However, Aokiji got to Marineford right then, and wanting to stop Akainu at all costs, challenged him to a fateful battle at Punk Hazard. The two admirals battled each other to a stalemate for 10 days, until neither person was able to move. However, at that moment, Akainu called on Eyelashes, who owed him a favor besides his abdication after losing. Eyelashes then dealt the final blow to Aokiji, after which Akainu used Kizaru's superspecial hypnotysm on Eyelashes, dropping him back off on Alabasta with no memories of what happened. That is, until 66666 hours from now. Akainu never liked Alabasta.

If people could update the involved characters' history sections, that would be great.'''

Greetings everyone.

I find myself staying home from school today because of a little holiday the US calls President's Day. It doesn't make much sense since about 70% of our presidents were hated, but moving on...

Since I'm an Amurican, and we back democratically elected leadership (sort of), I have broken the fourth wall and messed with One Piece a little. Now, Sengoku has just resigned, and the heat is on between Aokiji and Akainu once again. But wait. What's this? KIZARU WANTS TO BE FLEET ADMIRAL TOO? The Gorosei, knowing bad things would happen if the three of them all fought each other, decided to hold a democratic election.

Here's where you guys come in.

Because I have decided this, there must be six candidates in an election. Three of them are already set, but three candidates must be nominated. Here are the rules:

UPDATE: Nominating is CLOSED, so go vote below!


 * Nominate a candidate in the comments.
 * The candidate must be a LIVING ONE PIECE CHARACTER. Their age, gender, and occupation do not matter.
 * After someone nominates a character, another user must second their nomination, otherwise it will not count.
 * AWCs are allowed to nominate characters, but cannot second nominations.
 * The FIRST THREE characters to be nominated and seconded will then become candidates, and the election will start.
 * No nominating Sengoku or Garp, for hopefully obvious reasons.

Alright then, let's get nominating!

The Interview (no, not the Korean one)
Now, I shall interview our 6 candidates.

Sakazuki
Kaido: Summarize why you would be a good candidate for Fleet Admiral.

Sakazuki: The Marines are all a bunch of softies right now. I'm the only one there with any common sense. My leadership and physical abilities are quite strong, and I would use them to make the Marines and the World Government the ONLY Great Power in the world!

Kaido: What is the most pressing issue you would take care of if you were elected Fleet Admiral?

Sakazuki: Tell me, Kaido, what starts with P, ends with S, and rhymes with Mother[CENSORED]? Pirates! Piratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespiratespirates....Once I am elected Fleet Admiral, you shall see no more Jolly Rogers on the high seas, I promise you that.

Kaido: How would you help the citizens of the world as Fleet Admiral?

Sakazuki: Who?...Oh, wait, yes. The citizens. I'm sure I'll keep them safe from the pirates roaming the seas...but they should be ready to sacrifice themselves for the greater good.

Kaido: Uhhhh...well...

Sakazuki: This is off the record, right? THIS HAD BETTER BE OFF THE RECORD! *hands sizzle*

Kaido: Ye-Yep, that'll-be off the-record!

Kuzan
'''Kaido: Summarize why you would be a-hello? Mister? MISTER? ARE YOU AWAKE?'''

Kuzan: Oh, sorry about that. Please continue.

Kaido: Summarize why you would be a good candidate for Fleet Admiral.

Kuzan: Well, to be honest, that job's a total bore...but Sengoku nominated me, and I hate to say it but I'm probably the best choice out of us 3 admirals...plus, I can like, freeze stuff.

'''Kaido: Sounds legit. Now, what is the most pressing issue you would take care of as Fleet Admiral?'''

Kuzan: Well...I guess bring peace to the world so that I can nap whenever I like. And maybe stop all the killing? Even Marines, sometimes they should take a chill pill, like-

Sakazuki: Hey! You were talking about me, weren't you? That's why you're unfit to be Fleet Admiral, Kuzan. You're too soft on pirates and criminals. SAKAZUKI FOR FLEET ADMIRAL-

Kuzan: You wanna go, Sakazuki? Tomorrow. 0600. Punk Hazard. Be there.

Kaido: ...aaaaand that concludes this interview!

Borsalino
Kaido: Summarize why you would be a good candidate for Fleet Admiral.

Borsalino: Well, I like to think of myself as the most balanced. I always strived to be as passionately calm as "Ma Buddha" Sengoku. Kuzan's always sleeping on the job, while Sakazuki's always awake on the job. So I think I'm the most balanced of the three. Plus...*appears right behind Kaido*...I'm fast, no?

'''Kaido: Ahhh...yes. Now, if you could have a seat, what's the most pressing issue you would take care of as Fleet Admiral?'''

Borsalino: Well, I'd take care of pirates to be sure. Especially if they're pillaging and what not. I might not catch them if they're doing nothing wrong, though. But if someone ordered me to catch them, I might do it regardless.

Kaido: That sounds...confusing.

Borsalino: I know, right! You totally get me!

Eyelashes
Kaido: So, Eyelashes, summarize why you would be a good candidate for Fleet Admiral.

Eyelashes: Vwovwovwovwovwovwovwovwovwovwovwo

'''Kaido: Hmmm...not too shabby. Now, what is the most pressing issue you would take care of as Fleet Admiral?'''

Eyelashes: *motions toward his back*

'''Kaido: Oh, so you want me to ride you? Alright...WAAAAH!'''

Female Cameraman: Oh, is that a camel? It's sooo cute! Can I ride you? Oh yes...That's a good boy.

''Eyelashes. The Camel Candidate Women Can Depend On®''

Kaido: Wait, is this a commercial? CURSE YOUUUUUUU GAYCOOO!!!!!

George Black
'''Kaido: Here we have our next candidate, George Black. Though he was unable to appear for his interview in person, we've got a radio connection straight from Level 5 of Impel Down! Can you hear me, George?'''

George: Yep.

Kaido: Summarize why you would be a good candidate for Fleet Admiral.

George: Well...I've beaten all my Level 5 cellmates to a pulp, and so they all respect me, and I think the rest of the world would too. Plus, I've been in here for, uh...6 mont-I mean, 7 years, and I haven't died yet. The Wardens call me "The Unbreakable One"

Kaido: What is the most pressing issue you would take care of as Fleet Admiral, Mr. Black?

George: This justice system, man. It's jank. I mean, I'm a good guy! I only set that city on fire and took all its treasure because one guy made fun of my wardrobe! Is that not good enough reason? The Marines sure don't seem to think so!

'''Kaido: ...Yessss...so, Mr. Black, I know you have a record few would want, and that may affect your campaign. How will you deal with this?'''

George: Well, to be honest...

'''Kaido: Hold on just a second. I'm getting another call. Hello?'''

Hannyabal: Heyyy, Kaido. We were about to give the radio to George Black, when it suddenly went missing!

'''Kaido: Wait...what? Then...'''

Prisoner: Hey Bentham, what're you doing with that radio?

Bentham: Shhhh! You'll give me away!

Kaido: Bentham?

Bentham: NOOOOOO! EVERYTHING IS RUINED NOW! I JUST WANTED TO BE FLEET ADMIRAL-*radio cuts off*

Gaimon
'''Kaido: It's Gaimon, right? I've heard a lot about you. Why would you be a good Fleet Admiral candidate?'''

Gaimon: Ha ha! That's a silly question! For the past 20 years I've reigned over this kingdom of animals so rare it's nobody's business. People are actually even easier animals to control, so it'll be nothing for me.

Kaido: What is the most pressing issue you would deal with as Fleet Admiral?

Gaimon: I'd certainly fight for the rights of people stuck in objects. They're a little-known mistreated minority. Plus keep people from killing animals. That'll come second.

'''Kaido: You might have heard, but many people seem to think that you being in a treasure chest will hinder your Fleet Admiral potential. What is your response?'''

Gaimon: My response would be what is going on right now!

''Kaido starts to hear screaming noises coming from outside. Suddenly, a mob of shrieking girls bursts through the door. They trample Kaido and the security and carry off Gaimon, their hero.''

Voting
Now the voting begins! Vote for your choice of Fleet Admiral in the comments. The winner will be decided Wednesday!