User blog:DancePowderer/689 Prediction

This will be mostly serious with a few pieces of 4th wall absence sprinkled in.

Title: A Joker's World

Cover: Diviner Punishment (A bolt of lightning sets Caribou's lifeboat on fire) Start at Dressrosa
 * Page 1

Doflamingo: I can't wait until Caesar's weapon goes to auction. The turnout should be great.

Cut to a wide shot of the two old people playing cards.

Ushebti: Young Master, your 2 o'clock is here.

Infobox reads "Doflamingo's most trusted advisor, 'Grandma' Ushebti, bounty 159,000,000.

Ankh: He is in the drawing room.

Infobox read "Doflamingo's other most trusted advisor, 'Braincient' Ankh, bounty 287,000,000. Doflamingo: Good, I was wondering when he'd show up. Come on, Set, we're walking.
 * Page 2

Set (the gimp who shot Baby 5) gets up and follows behind him.

Doflamingo: Excuse me, I said we're walking now!

Set: Oh, yes, my apologies sir. Ahem, (singing) I am the bad one, distant and cruel one, I am the dream that, keeps you running down.

Doflamingo: That's more like it.

They enter the drawing room. A large projector with a phone revceiver is set up to allow for video calls. A silohouette is seen on the screen, but it couldn't be more obvious who it is. Doflamingo: Sup, B? Since you're calling right when I told you to, I can only guess what it's about. Punctuality will get you far in this biz.
 * Page 3

B: Good afternoon, Joker sir. I am calling to say that my crew andI have accepted your offer and are looking forward to working directly under you.

Doflamingo: Swell, glad you made the right choice. You'll get instructions from my people in the coming days to finalize the deal.

B: Great. See you in Marineford?

Doflamingo: You know it. Later!

The call ends

Set: Sir, if you don't mind me asking, why did you ask someone like him to join us?

Doflamingo: Well, with Law about to meet his unfortunate end, I figure I could use another Shichibukai in my pocket. Also, I thought his organization could balance us out.

Set: Balance, sir?

Doflamingo: What better way to balance out our little freakshow than by adding a circus?
 * Page 4

Doflamingo: Let's go back to the pool. Set, we're walking again.

Set: Without distraction, violent reaction, scars of my actions, watch me running out.

Doflamingo (with his famous "I'm a smug mofo grin): Hell doesn't want me.

Back at the pool, Doflamingo sits back on the couch and picks up the phone.

Doflamingo: Buffalo, Baby 5, report.
 * Page 5

Buffalo: We'll be at Punk Hazard within the half hour. The seas around here were a little rougher than usual, which accounts for the delay.

Doflamingo: Good, now remember, your priority is to do search and rescue on Caesar. Kill everyone else as a perk. As you know, Vergo's already there.

Buffalo: Understood sir.

Doflamingo: And most importantly, put on your SCOLBA suits before you disembark, or you'll die instantly and be completely useless.

Buffalo: Roger that. Over and out.

Doflamingo: Toodles.

Baby 5 (Right before the transmission ends): FUCK YOU JOKER!

Doflamingo: Cute kid, needs to learn some manners, though.

On Punk Hazard
 * Page 6

Luffy: Gotta find Caesar. Damn this kid is heavy! Hey, wake up, Dragonosuke!

Momonosuke: Ugh, so hungry.

Luffy: Try transforming.

Momonosuke: How? I would but I don't know how.

Luffy: Just focus really hard or something! Damn, where's Chopper when you need him?

Momonosuke: Chopper?

Luffy: My crew's doctor. He's a reindeer but he's also a Zoan. He knows how to transform and stuff and is really good at it. But first we have to find Caesar! Do you know where building R is?

Momonosuke: No, but this room I found a while ago had monitors in it. Maybe we could find him that way.

Luffy: Worth a shot, tell me how to get there.


 * Page 7

Zoro: I don't see why we had to use my shirt and not your jacket.

Tashigi: Come on, we couldn't leave her there to die. And besides, it's not like you're missing much without your shirt.

Zoro: She's still cold, damn it!

Tashigi: You want me to carry her?

Zoro: And make me look weak? No way!

Tashigi: Then stop complaining and figure out which way we're supposed to go!


 * Page 8

Smoker: It's hopeless, Vergo. You can't beat me.

Vergo: How cute, but I have Law's heart in my possession, and it's been no fun watching him suffer. I'll show you some more!

He reaches into his coat pocket.

Law (weakly whispers): Shambles.

Vergo: See? What?

In his hands is a keyring with a several keys on it.

Law: Surprise, Vergo.


 * Page 9

He quickly puts his heart back in his chest as Vergo charges at him.

Smoker: White Line!

A trail of white smoke catches Vergo just below the chin, clothes lining him.

Vergo (reaching into his coat again): Well, if you're back in commission, then I won't feel guilty about using this.

Smoker (falling to his knees): Rrrgh!

Vergo: It would take away from the sportsmanship of the whole thing if I used your heart too, but seeing as it's the only one I have now, I guess it's okay.

He leans against the railing.
 * Page 10

Vergo: So, Smoker, today's a lovely day to die, isn't it?

Law (also leaning on the railing): Shambles! Counter Shock!

The heart in Vergo's hand suddenly becomes a small coil of wire (oddly attached to the railing and Vergo receives an electric shock.

Vergo: Uggh!? God, that's annoying.

Law: Counter Shock: Circuit!
 * Page 11

He touches the railing again, which remains electrified, and the wire leads it right into Vergo.

Vergo: Rrrgh! Soru!

He separates himself from the wire.

Vergo (panting): I forgot how much your little shocks tickled. Heart or no heart, I'll still defeat you.

Law: Not this time, Vergie. I'm not the little punk I used to be. Kids grow up.
 * Page 12

Vergo: Not the ones here, they don't!

Law: Stealing my thunder and for the sake of bad taste!? That's it! The doctor is in, and you're about to be euthanized! Room!

He creates a room and disappears.

Law: So, you come here telling me your back hurts?

He appears and give Vergo a haki punch to the stomach.

Law (disappearing again): I bet it stopped hurting now, huh? I have another idea.

Two flying slashes come out of nowhere, hitting Vergo square in the chest.


 * Page 13

Law: Take two of these, and call me in the morning!

Vergo: Rrrgh, enough with the doctor riffs.

Law: You're right. I am much more creative than that.

He lifts up his foot, forming a tiny "Room" on the ball of his foot. He then kicks Vergo in the face with it, hurting him as well as doing something else.

Law: How do you like that one, assface!? I think it's a good look for ya! (Vergo's ass is literally where his face should be). Oh, but you said enough of the medical routines. He kicks him with his other foot, again damaging him but returning his face to normal.

To be continued...