User:Marcus Junior/The other me

Random title
Bar aside how I act in the chat ignoring everything I said I can be very serious and thoughtful. Some people think I'm sad most of the time but I'm just thinking mainly!

I may not show it in the chat but I think about a lot of things in my life and most of those who I think are Sad! I think about how stupid I am for not getting better grades and not being able to talk to girls, how weak I am for not being that great in sports, how lazy I am for not doing sports and more things, how sad my life was when I remember all the scars that torment me from my friendless days, how happy this site and 9gag makes and that I wont be able to visit as often, how I miss everything important that happens around here!

With that in mind my only wish of any time would be to go back to the first grade with the mentality I have today!

I would go back and buff me up, get used to studying, confess to the girl I like as soon as she entered school in 2nd grade, do what I wished to do but never was abbe to, basically do whatever I forgot or couldn't do till the moment I'm writing this!

View of life
Another thing that I think about is life itself! Why do we exist? Why do planets exist and stars? Is there such thing as a creator and if yes why did he create us? Was this all random or for a reason? Tough I'm not sure at all this is what I think!

Animals, plants, rocks, water, stars, nebulas, black holes, and everything exists for no reason at all, why would it have? Why would anything exist? how would be reality without anything at all? There's no reason at all for our existence so why do we exist? Cause people are searching for the meaning of life and not the reason!

Life has no meaning and why would it? The only reason anything exists it's simply cause it's beautiful! Beauty is not that far fetched if you think about it everything is beautiful! As someone once said: "Art is not something you can only see with your eyes, it's something you smell, feel, flavor, hear, one of those will allow you to understand the beauty of it!"

Doesn't matter how much you think your ugly somewhere in the world someone will like you for your personality, talent, looks, smell, one of those thing. If not a person then possibly a dog will love you who cares what it is that will find you beautiful as long as you are! Everything is beautiful in their own way even thins such as poop is fragrant to flys and other insects, other insects lie flies look tasteful to lizard which some humans think are beautiful!

Every landscape is beautiful in at least one persons view, music and paintings too, they might not be alive but their beautiful in their own accord to someone!

In essence life only exists cause it's beautiful and makes something happy! An there's no other reason beyond that! Why would there be anyways life is something you live to your fullest otherwise you won't be happy! Give life a chance to show you beautiful things and you'll feel the greatest sensation of them all: happiness!

I may not be the prettiest person alive thanks to my acne scars, nor the one with the best smell but if I managed to make one person happy even if by a fraction then my reason to live has been fulfilled

So to everyone who has read this hope you see me in a different light now!

My story
Well first off I never actually had what you could really call a GF ever, I had something close to a "relationship" once, we barely ever met and when we did it was more of a friendship than an actual BF-GF relationship cause we hardly kissed and our kisses were those quick "smuack" ones I was barely 8 then... Then she mooved to switzerland and we "broke up", she sometimes comes here in the summer but we never actually kissed since then so we are just only friends... There was this one girl I actually liked in 3rd grade, I liked her for 5 years but never was able to talk with her afraid of her tought on me(I'll explain more in a paragraph). But one day when I was in 8th grade she approached me and gve me her email! We talked we got to know eachother and we eventually became best friends but nothing more... She already knew I liked her when she decided to aproach me. I was friendzoned from start and now lately every thing that maked me love her has dispersed, she's barely has tomboyish, her taste in music is so lackish (she likes JB >_<) and she likes twilight! She has more Cons then Pros and I think I only don't give up cause I don't want to think I lost 6 years of my life... (explanation here) I hit puberty really early! Why is this important? I hit it at 10 with the worst possible outcome... I had severe acne: Back, chest, shoulder, upper arm, face, fore head, neck, chin, etc... (everyplace above the belly button) This lasted for 3-4 years! But it was really severe acne! For about 2 years no one could relate to me of my age and I was mostly alone those times...

For those 2 years everyday of my life was a hell! What others could do easily I couldn't do without spilling blood! I couldn't take a bath without agonizing in pain of the heat, I couldn't sleep well cause of my weight in the pimples making them bleed, my face was full of them and thus everyone treated me like I was kinda like a monster. I cried to sleep some nights! After it calmed down I started getting more friends but the scars still haunt me today!

On top of those 2 years and the fact I'm still in my moral code a lip virgin there is one more thing that afects my psych! When I was little I had a pet! Her name was Tucha she was this Race! She kept me company when my parents were working which was a lot of hours and thus most of my time spended was with her I loved her like a sister! In second grade my father had to go to Austria and only me, my mother and her where left, and when my mother was working I spended my time with her even more, but... one day in 3rd grade... she died... I didn't cry at the moment but rest assured what I cried in that night could fill a 5 liter bottle. Due to that loss I've been over protective with whoever I made my friend! That was before the 2 years where I had no one and thus I was a really negative person!

from this point forward my life got better...

Reasons why I love Caly

 * She dosen't like JB
 * She dosen't like twilight
 * She likes rock
 * She dosen't like yaoi
 * She sounds nice
 * She showed me that there are still hope in girls near my age
 * She dosen't talk much and I kinda like shy girls
 * She keeped her promise to me of entering the chat more
 * Our BDAYS are 323(calu) and 414(me)
 * She's aries
 * She plays bass
 * Above all she likes OP <3

Sadly enough she dosen't love me back anymore, that's why I made this test part, this will be my romantic play ground

I'll try to type everything romantic that goes trought my mind and add everything that makes me remind of our great times

http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/TheMJDS/1326829927155.jpg favorite memory of her ^^

She was so happy when I gave her this, she said it made her day *sigh* Wish I didn't ruin our relationship Caly if you ever read this remember I still hold a place in my heart for you ^^

http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/TheMJDS/tumblr_m2b64yxT6f1r51u8zo1_500.gif

mine and caly's relationship u.u

http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/TheMJDS/DSC00167.jpg

The drawing reatempt, completed now...