User blog comment:Kaido King of the Beasts/Best and Worst Openings/@comment-34981281-20150819022555

Mm-hm. Mm-hm. I'm seeing a lot of praise for "Wake Up!" around here. Let me, however, propose an alternative:

"Wake Up!" '''is the worst One Piece opening there will ever be. '''Please consider my theory.

After Fight Together and We Go! (ignoring Hands Up), we were used to some really pretty animation. Then Wake Up! was thrown in our face. And the animation may look good to the untrained eye, but really look at it. There's no efforts to stay on-model, in-focus, or even be interesting. There's no advanced shading or attention to detail. Most disturbing, there's no sense of timing or pace. It's just as lazy as one of their episodes. Compared to the visuals and effects we've seen in the past, this one is a hideous low-frame-rate scribble.

And it doesn't get better when you look at what the Straw Hats are wearing. Those are possibly the most unappealing outfits seen in any anime in the universe. Bright-ass colors, no theme, no contrast. I can't believe these outfits were marketed as heavily as they were.

And I could forgive bad animation, really. If the song were good. AAA is a young, Japanese pop band that cares more about their own image than the sound their producing. Take five seconds to sing the chorus. Like, even if you don't speak Japanese, just get out what you can. Shining, running, forever... Wake up wake up wake up wake up heart beat. We are ze one, go 'head? They throw off their own rhyme!

But the very worst part is how inappropriately this opening portrays One Piece, which is it's one and only job. That fucking break in the middle. Suddenly, darkness surrounds our hero, and the dastardly Blackbeard emerges! With... a fucking Usopp nose for some reason? Like, they purposely drew his nose 3 times longer than canon? In every frame? It's not an error, it's a decision, and it boggles my mind. Why is your 'main villain' horrendously off model in the opening? Whatever.

"I'll engulf you in the shadows, Straw Hat!" "You won't beat me! I'm the guy who'll find One Piece and become the king of the pirates!" What is that? Am I on the One Piece roller coaster at Universe Theme Park? Blackbeard is an incredibly deep character (pun intended) who has ideals, dreams, and ambition. He's a morally ambiguous character who's looking out for no one but himself. That's what's so genius about him! The mystery, the originality! He's a work of art. And how does this opening treat him? Like he's some fucking Power Rangers villain. "Rar, I'm so evil! I'm the bad guy! I'll get you, Straw Hat, and your meddling crew!"

One Piece isn't some superhero episodic serial. It's a very complex and beautiful story, and this opening just shits on that. It just fucking shits all over it and it hurts me. I'm deeply offended that this hideous piece of garbage was ever allowed on television. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

But, you know. Opinions are opinions. We all like different things.