User blog comment:Kaido King of the Beasts/Jack vs. Marines, Part 3/@comment-142.51.31.17-20160112154220

I could see Oda making gravity shapes with Issho's power, but The spiral one was weird and unnecessary, and the obvious animal shape is not a dragon. Although maybe it's too obvious, even for Oda.

That said, I think that this fight would have been awkward for anyone to write, since the only power that really a match for his gravity in the first place is a logia. No matter how strong someone is, he can just pump up the juice, so the only way to avoid it is to become intangible. In the real canon, this match-up would either be a disappointment or totally unbelievable. So I feel like Jack would have come up with some tactic to just avoid directly fighting Fuji altogether.

Other than that, I think you should invest in a thesaurus; that spectacle was both pitiful and majestic within the span of three lines. "Pitiful display" might have been a better choice, or something, but using the same word without any reason for the juxtaposition takes away from the writing. Unless you were trying to make fun of Fuji for not seeing how awesome the scene was ...

My last note is on characterization and specifically the "I'd like to kill him all over again" line. I simply can't imagine any of these three officers ever taking pleasure in killing an enemy. Defeating them, sure. Capturing a big name target, definitely. Maybe even combat in general, but never murder. In a world of relative justice, these are as close as we get to the "good guys"; in my view, they do this out of duty, not because they like to massacre pirates.

Overall, pretty good for a fanfic.