User blog:Fliu/One Piece Parody Short: The Vinsmoke Brothers' little dispute

Yonji: hey Sanji

Sanji: what?

Yonji: your crew’s navigator sure is hot.

Niji: yeah, I can’t believe someone as worthless as you get to be around a girl so beautiful for all this time. Lucky bastard.

Ichiji: I’ve decided. I’m going to make her my bride.

Niji: No way! She’s going to be my personal maid!

Yonji: Hey! I want her all to myself!

Sanji clenches his fists.

Sanji: None of you is going to lay a finger on Nami-swan!

Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji: …………………

Ichiji: and who are you to presume that? Do you need a reminder on who’s the inferior one?

Niji: yeah. What are you going to do? Bark at us?

Yonji remains silent, thinking back to the time Sanji dented his face.

Sanji: if I were to allow Nami-swan to fall into the hands of scum such as you three, then I won’t be able to call myself a man!

Niji: here’s an idea. How about we beat Sanji to a pulp like we always do and then we decide which of us get to have Cat Burglar Nami.

Yonji: that’s something we can agree on.

Sanji activates Hell Memories.

Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yonji: Is that supposed to scare us?

In a blink of an eye, Sanji attacks Yonji with a powerful kick.

Ichiji and Niji watch in extreme shock as Yonji (while in flames) is sent flying into the far away distance.

Niji: You bastard! Don’t get cocky! Stealth! (dashed behind Sanji) Henry Needle!

Instead of hurting Sanji, Niji’s leg got burned.

Niji: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! My leg!!!!! My leg!!!!!!

Ichiji: Niji!!!!!

Sanji then performs an overhead kick on Niji, smashing him headfirst into the ground. The force of the attack is so great that Niji’s head is buried so deep.

Ichiji then starts to lose his composure at this turn of events.

Ichiji: how? ……how? How can you be this strong?!!!!

Sanji attacks Ichiji with Poêle à Frire: Spectre.

With his three brothers overpowered, Sanji deactivates Hell Memories and lights a cigarette.

Sanji: never underestimate the power of a man’s chivalry.

The End