User:Gourd Roger/The "Real" All About Me

This subpage is all about me, inspired by Mr. Vlad's article on Uncyclopedia.



This is me. My full name is Gol D. Gourd, more popularly and simply known as Gourd Roger. I am the twin brother of Gol D. Roger and this is me when I was young.



Unlike my brother, I did not engage into piracy and did not wage war against either the Marines or the World Government. However, my brother's actions have caused the world to despise me as well. I used to detest him once, but I rather had to accept it and my fate. Also unlike my brother, I am still living right now.



Let's just say I am simply an old man now, like his first mate Silvers Rayleigh and all the living original members of the Roger Pirates (not mentioning Shanks or Buggy). Both of us are living peacefully on the other sides of the world (this is written for the sake of similarity).



However, when I was a kid, I want to end everything in the most radical and violent way possible. But instead of me doing it, Roger did it. Roger sailed the seven seas as a pirate, challenging all sorts of people for a greater cause.



I am a Bohemian not being a pirate. One example of my acts as one is I hate being fed by somebody else, even by a beautiful girl (since I looked like a kid). If there were no rules, I should've cross out this picture. Those who dare will be like one of those guys in the picture above this one (those people who are lying under).

https://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/639x481q90/911/4mhaIi.jpg I simply want to enjoy it alone. Like my brother, Luffy and Blackbeard, I also have a very huge appetite.



All I have to do is to simply enjoy the best things life has to offer, lying comfortably outside my house in Loguetown while drinking some alcohol.

https://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/640x361q50/673/lOD1gN.png

<p style="text-align:center;">But I was never satisfied on my life as much as my brother was. Two years after my brother's death, I went on an expedition across manga universes to join the Survey Corps and join their expedition against the Titans. I got the same hate sentiment from the people around me due to the failure of the goal of this group but this did not stop me at all and this will give the Survey Corps their everlasting streak of victory.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">Twenty-five years later, I came back with so much power and energy surrounding me and with a strong hit of my polearm, I haven't noticed I have gone this exponentially far.

<p style="text-align:center;">http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img911/1200/NBf6XQ.gif

<p style="text-align:center;">Rather than live on exciting and dangerous pirate life, I am still sticking to my philosophy. Like this girl, I got the message that I'll rather join the great edit age on this wiki and sleep on my desk for a greater reason.

The real me lives on the Internet!

<p style="text-align:center;">(Advertisment)

<p style="text-align:center;">JOIN THE GREAT PIRATE RACE AND BECOME THE PIRATE KING AND WIN ONE PIECE!

<p style="text-align:center;">PER ________ PERMIT NO. ______  SERIES OF 2014.

<p style="text-align:center;">(End of Ad)

<p style="text-align:center;">'''Dramatica ends here. That's all folks!'''

<p style="text-align:center;">'''Wow. I can't believe the cringey old me can do poetry this noice. *Slurps* Noice.''' -Gourd Roger, 2018