User blog:DancePowderer/It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Battle

The Straw Hat Pirates, four of them with switched bodies. Of those four, one has been trampled along with two normal ones. Two are staying behind to babysit. The last one thinks he's somehow going to be useful for some reason. I love dramatic irony. We got two opponents who pose actual threats, one who could go either way, and a whole batallion of people no one gives a crap about. We'll examine those stats and more today, on One Piece Battle Betting Corner. Sup, you know me, your host. Our guests today are the fighters who haven't been trampled by yetis: Luffy, Robin, Usopp, and Fropper. Welcome.

Luffy: Good to be here.

Usopp: I wanted to babysit.

Robin: Wow, I really do look bad in leopard.

Fropper: I'm the wildcard in this battle.

DP: So, you guys are about to battle the guys behind this whole crazy Deadman Wonderlandesque arc. Any thoughts?

Luffy: Well, normally we know who we're fighting. This time we have no idea who the enemy is. Just this "Master" guy who apparently hates kids and likes grownups.

Robin: Luffy's right, normally we at least know the names of the people we're fighting. This time we're going in blind.

Usopp: I wish to stay back on account that I caught "can't go in without proper recon first" disease.

Fropper: Tough titties, pansy, at least you can fight at your full strength. I'm in an unstable furry body. I'll be predominantly useless unless you need a distraction.

Luffy: Umm, DP, I know this goes against everything you believe in, but do you think you could see it in your already kind and gracious heart....

Robin: Luffy wants you to give us spoilers.

DP: Unfortunately I cannot. However, I foresaw this situation, and made the proper arrangements. So here's someone who can. Please welcome live via satellite, Vice Admiral Smoker and Captain Tashigi.

Smoker: Straw Hat, listen up. First, before you ask, mine and Tashigi's bodies were switched like your friends' were. The guy you're gonna be fighting is named Caesar Clown. He's a former government scientist with a 300 mill bounty on his dome. He's a Logia like me, uses gas. We're pretty similar, only difference is he's completely off his rocker.

Luffy: So, I guess I'm fighting the main villain of this arc. Gee, what a shocker. So, if that's all, why the hell do I gotta bring three meat shields?

Tashigi: He has subordinates. Trafalgar Law you already know, but he has an assistant, a harpy named Monet.

Usopp: Dibs on the flying broad.

DP: Does Trafalgar not worry you or something?

Luffy: He can enter the fight if he wants, but I doubt he will.

DP: So, Robin, Fropper, what will you do now since the matchups are basically decided?

Fropper: I guess distract people.

Robin: Fuck shit up, what else? Dibs on Law if he decides to fight. To him, my powers will seem like a bad acid trip. Always amusing.

DP: And you Marines?

Smoker: Chill here I guess. Later.

DP: And the roaming band of centaurs?

Luffy: Let Sanji take care of them.

DP: Sanji might be unconcious, and he's in Nami's body. And that brings me to the yetis....

Luffy: I know, he could defeat them in his sleep in another body. They're that dangerous. And I'm pretty sure Zoro can handle a couple of oversized snow honkies. Not that worried. Just one question, how crazy is this Clown guy?

DP: He wears a candy cane striped onesie.

Luffy: Robin, after hearing about this guy, you can keep your leopard coat on. In fact, I would even venture so far as to say that it makes you look like the epitome of woman and I would do so many naughty things to you in that thing. And this is coming from a guy who ignored advances from partially to completely naked snake empress.

Robin: Thanks...I think.

DP: So it's betting time. Straw Hats, prepare to commence dropping of green. Commence dropping of green.

Robin: 6,000,000 that there's still some part of this story we don't have yet.

Luffy: 38,000 that Clown can't fight on his own for crap.

Fropper: 172,000 that I'll be completely useless overall.

Usopp: 175,000,000 that we're going to have a repeat of what happened after Alabasta, minus the Marines getting promotions.

DP: Well, that's all the time we have. You reading at home know the drill, leave your cash, check, or money order in the comments section. Til next time, DP out.