User blog:DancePowderer/Clowning Around

Well, there's nothing like a good chapter to fill in just about every plothole in the backstory. Now that most of the holes are filled, I just have to say this, f#%k. Caesar Clown is arguably the most dangerous criminal the Straw Hats have come up against. First off, this guy doesn't fail, he over-exceeds. Sure, he might not have wanted the bomb to completely decimate and an entire island, spreading poison into the air and ground but look on the bright side. He invented Pluton Jr! A revenge driven chemical weapons expert, with political cover, more than enough resources, and enough moral flexibility to make the guys doing those enhanced interrogations seem like overly devout Catholics with Jewish mothers in-law who are experts at what they do, by which I mean make you feel guilty. Not to mention a a smile that would put anyone from Soul Eater to shame. Well, shall we stir the crazy pot some more? He's also a Logia user, whose power just happens to play into what he makes his bread and butter.

Ok, I just listed quite the impressive resume. If i didn't know better, I'd say CC stood for COMPLETELY CRAZY. This guy is in the perfect position to be in, and he knows it. He can basically amass as many test subjects as he wants, do whatever he wants to them, and play it off like an accident at sea. Hey, it's the New World, things like that are bound to happen every now and then so who's to think twice? This Joker guy is a virtual spin doctor, covering his ass, so he has media influence. Working for the government probably gave him more than enough connections. Wanna know how else I know he's crazy? He's wearing a candy cane striped onesie. Just thought I'd point that out. Crazy with a grudge means the perfect storm of bad plans with good intentions, to him. To everyone else he's completely off his rocker. Wouldn't you love to see this guy run toward you, go full gas mid run, and then when he's right on top of you, a pillar of gas just shoots up right in front of your face and all you see are his eyes and that demonic smile. I mean, I thought Gekko Moriah had a creepy grin. At this point I'd rather see Akainu smile than Clowny. I just want to know this, what incident does he have in mind? Smoker said he was probably planning on causing another catastrophe, so what is it? I think he's going to poison the salad bar at the upcoming Reverie with a toxin that makes you want to commit ostentacious suicide. Just think about it. And think about it in a way that can only be expressed in song:

I see signs of doom,

Red blood stains too.

People go boom,

Before me and you.

I see guys turn to goo,

Death left and right.

You can't catch me,

I'm gone with the night.

And I think to myself,

What a wonderful world.

Yes, I think to myself,

What a wonderful world.

It just brings a tear to your eye in more ways than one, doesn't it? Beauty in its darkest form. Well, I'm doing what I always do after encountering the master nutcase, laughing maniacally under my breath at the sheer magnitude of the problem at hand. This makes Crocodile's plan look like a misdemeanor. We now approach the second movement in our symphony of madness, a forte-piano moderato with a crescendo that builds in the string section and slowly travels across the rest of the orchrestra until it peaks at the most beautiful fortississimo allegro you've ever heard. Please enjoy the rest of this disasterful masterpiece (or should I say, masterful disasterpiece (TM)). Lord knows I will.