User blog:AuroraOfDeath/One Piece Wiki: A Game of Hunger

.*puts on microphone*

-this already on? Oh.

WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO THE ONE PIECE WIKI SUMMER HUNGER GAAAAAMMMEEEEES!!!!!!

I know, I know, very exciting!!

I should first introduce myself, I am President AoD, organisor and commentator of this Hunger Games.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Where is Jade?" Well, I couped the country and threw her in the games. Sooooooooo, who are our candidates?

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YES, you're seeing it right! We have changed everyone into a character for Game of Thrones! Because screw you guys!!! I must say, most tributes do fit their character! Don't like your character? WELL TOO BAD HAHAHA!!! THIS AINT A DEMOCRACY!!

The Reaping will start TOMORROW, be sure not to miss it, ladies and gentlemen, because BLOOD WILL FALL!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!

.*puts down microphone*

dYY2r1O3bzQ WELCOME AGAIN, LADIES AND GENTLELADIES!!!

TODAY IS THE BIG DAY! The candidates will be set loose in the arena, to fight eachother to DEATH!!! Are you guys as exciting as I am? Cuz I'm shivering with goosebumps. A personal favourite this year seems to be the holy gorilla called Harambe. To be honest, I don't really know what the fuss is about. I guess he does know how to survive in the wils, though.

Other favourites are the direwolf Jade, and the man with the direwolf head, Betsy! Lots of wolves this year, though I might remind everyone that the possibility of wolves being in the arena does exist!

The candidates are all set on their starting position, with only 10 seconds to go. Who will survive the Cornucopia Massacre? Let us watch!

The Bloodbath
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The first victim seems to be Kaido's nose! Weirdo must have jumped really high to have reached it, though. David vs Goliath, much? Meanwhile, Yume goes ahead and shows Staw who's the boss in the games! The rest seems to be unified with one thought: https://youtu.be/92gP2J0CUjc?t=92

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O-oh my. Seems like the first victim is the all-time favourite: Harambe!

Whoa! Whoa! Just because he's your favourite doesn't mean you can just whip your dick out for him! What an audience, jeez! SECURITY! KILL THOSE MEN! NO! KILL ALL GORILLA'S!!!!

Ahem, let's continue.

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Booooring

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Uhm, what? Only one death at the cornucopia massacre? WHAT IS THIS SHIT? I WANT BLOOD, AND YOU GUYS ONLY KILL A BLOODY GORILLA? Ohhhhh you're gonna regret this, tributes..

Day 1
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Well it looks like we have to put the benny hill theme here because of all the running and chasing jeez. And ah! There we have it! The first real dea- JOPIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Looks like Drake made sushi out of her. Also, very ironic that our Daario has somehow found a sickle, which is like, his typical weapon.

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So the undead wolf-man thingie tries to do archery. Well good luck with that. Meanwhile, Nova managed to camouflage his big fat butt in the bushes, seriously, you did the impossible. Also, I want to see human blood, not fish blood. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

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So our Weirdo has somewhow found a sickle himself, and threw it our derp wolf who somehow not managed to miss it. Well, ggwp Jade. Both animal favourites are now dead. I WANNA SEE HUMAN BLOOD, CMOOOOON!!

Ahh! When Kaido and Edmure were doing naughty things in the bushes, they got ambushed by the Hound and the Night's King himself. Kaido's broken nose seems to have slowed him down alot, aaaaaaand, they're both dead. Oh well, doesn't matter, had sex!

So this concludes our first day. Let's listen to the cannonshots and (not) honour those who died, shall we?

The Fallen
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RIP in piece, shitlords.

Status
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So our kill count got kinda fucked up I guess cuz both Arctic and Dino have 2 kills, mkay. Anyways, no district have been eliminated yet, but only have 5 have died (disappointing skrubs). But hey, tomorrow is another day >:)))))))))

Night 1
The sun sets in the arena as the tributes wander about. Let's see what happens.

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So Xil has a nasty infection. Cool. Meanwhile, Arctic performs a miracle and makes fire, though literally being the entitity of coldness. Mkay. But seriously Betsy, no one really wants to know your stories .__.

Who the hell is sponsoring Staw?

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Poor Drake is killed with his own sickle. RIP in piece mate. Meanwhile, everyone is singing. WHY? THIS AINT IDOLS! I WANNA SEE BLOOD, NO SONGS!

Enrik is sitting in a fetal position questioning his sanity, poor squirrel. Jesus, Pau, making a fire isnt that hard, if even an ice demon managed to do it.

Well, time to go to sleep. See you all in Day 2.

Day 2
WAKEY WAKEY, RISE AND SHINE!! THERE WILL BE DEATH AND HOPES WILL DECLINE!!

So, let's see what our skrublords are up to.

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Hahahahaha good job Crimm, dungoofs like this is why I enjoy to live. Also, Nova, I'm pretty sure you have enough food already, we had to hire a breastplatestretcher to get you into your armour. >__>

Meanwhile, Staw is a lazy bum and the King of Winter slams his pinky toe.

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Well this is surprising, Stannis spares his brother Enrik. Dis. Ap. Poin. Ting.

Xil, however, does a great job keeping me slightly entertained. RIP Pau and Panda. How you managed to die to a fat eunuch, no one is really sure.

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STOP BORING ME.

The Fallen
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.*slow clap*

Status
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Still no district completely eliminated. But we're getting close >:)

Night 2
.*yawns* So, let's get on with it.

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Poor Ryu.

Who the fuck keeps sponsoring Staw?

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Poor Jess, don't drink the filthy river water though, dear. You'll be shitting your stomach out like the girl on your avi. Also, jeeeeesus, how many sponsors do you guys have? Is it Kage doing all of this to ruin my day? Damn Finn.

Yume kills the first person tonight. YOU GO GURRRLLLL!!! I know I'm not supposed to have favourites but screw you guys, you're all dying in my little board game I don't care about your feelings. RIP Vid/Joffrey. Now your parents can perform incest on your decaying body :(

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Looks like papa Kuro dieded. The previous victor seems to have lost his title. DISTRICT 3 FTW!!! Don't worry Kuro, you always win deep in our hearts <3

Who the fuck thought it was a good fuckin idea to give Fin a fuckin weapon?

Day 3
Since you guys absolutely suck at killing eachother, here's another day, cuz this is gonna be a long one .__.

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Well shit me a fucking brick. THIS AINT A HOLIDAY VACATION!! YOURE SUPPOSED TO KILL EACHOTHER, POOPHEADS!!

Ahem.

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Dino's a real gentlemen, ain't he. NOT. Sorry Jess but I just wanna see blood. Yume gets a hatchet! YOU GO GURRRRLLLLLL!! And don't worry Xil, I would also run so fast from Betsy that I too would sprain my ankle.

Oh, I forgot to comment one.

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Why Jade.....?

Why did you let me take this shit over....?

I just...... I just wanted to see you guys die :(

THIS IS JUST TORTURE

.*points gun at own head*

BZZT

WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE STAND BY-

The Fallen
Welcome back everyone! Ignore what happened above! Soooo where were we? Oh yes, the dieded people.

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There go our last Lannisters.

Status
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Both Districts 3 and 4 are now completely eliminated!!! Doesn't mean you guys are bad murderers. But hey, tomorrow is another day >:)))))))

Night 3
Yoyoyoyoyoyyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoo.

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Poor Enrik can't warm himself up, I hope that goes alright, little squirrel.

Holy butthole, Ryu, killing Jess, Ultra and the Night's King himself in one go. It must have been wildfire, I'm telling you. Maybe it's what Fin saw.

Xil and YUMEEEEE truce for the night, awww how nice. Oh, I seem to have made a little copy paste mistake there, oops. Well, deal with it.

No one cares about Betsy.

See you all in day 4!

Day 4
Hello guys. How have your days been? I'm just tired and really hot, it's like 33 degrees celsius here. Oh? You use Fahrenheit? WELL TOO BAD

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Yume joined the big killer group and started hunting other tributes. YOU GO GUUURRRRLLLL.

First Enrik freezes his arse off, now he's thristy, this ain't looking good mate.

Lol @ Xil. Ggwp skrub. Join your overlord Harambe.

The Fallen
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen.

Status
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District 6 is doing better than it should .-.

Night 4
Welcome again to the Hunger Games! We have only 9 people left, happy times, happy times.

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7 out of 9 people prefer to socialise rather than kill eachother ..... okaaaaaaaaaayyyy (COWARDS!!!!).

Poor Enrik couldn't take it anymore, however, and died. RIP squirrel.

Meanwhile, Weirdo is creepily humming about...

Hmmm, I say we put some tension into the games, shall we not? Oooohhh yes. I know the perfect thing for tomorrow >:]

The most evil event that could ever happen in the history of Hunger Games:

A WEDDING!!!

Cya tomorrow >:]

THE WEDDING DAY
HELLO EVERYONE!!! WELCOME TO THE WEDDING!!!

Your Gracious President, you might be asking, who is getting married?

I picked up a looooovely couple on the streets and threw them into the arena, of course! Kidding! They're just robots created by Vatih ltd. We'll take them away after the wedding. But the tributes don't know that! They're all invited to the wedding, of course. In fact, they HAVE TO!!! If they don't I'll kill them!

I wish the bride and groom an endless amount of joy and fun in their matrimony. Unfortunately for the tributes, the groom asked me that he wanted a Dothraki-style wedding. And you guys know what that means, don't you >:)))))))

DEATH. DOMINATION. Of course I won't be physically present at the wedding. A hologram will do :).

So, Robot nr. 238 aka Bert, do you want to take Robot nr. 589 aka Leslie as your wife.

"Yes."

Rob- oh fuck it. Leslie! Do you wanna take this dude as your husband?

"Affirmative."

NOW KISS!

The tributes cheer the new couple on, but soon enough realise that death awaits them. Ohhh yes, let the crossbow bolts go!!!

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Fucking Fin. Do you have any idea how expensive that cake was. And sure, a bunch of people escaped the slaughter, including bae Yume, but a quarter of the people died. I mean, looking at the terrible results of previous days, ITS A SUCCESFULL WEDDING TO ME. At least Ryu is royal to his president.

Poor Staw.

cya tomorrow <3