User blog:Marcus Junior/Chapter 693 review: I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket!

"I want a girl who gets up early I want a girl who stays up late I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity Who uses a machete to cut through red tape With fingernails that shine like justice And a voice that is dark like tinted glass She is fast, thorough and sharp as a tack, She is touring the facility and picking up slack I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooong, loooooooooooooooooooooooooong jacket"

From now on Baby 5's theme song for me.

LISTEN UP MAGGOTS! MJ here is making a review! A long one so people without the mental patience to read for 10 minutes run away while you still can!

Onwards!

Cover
We get a Color spread! Joy! Not for me thou since I have to review it... Anyways we see the starhats and some Heart Pirates dressed in black. In the top right there can only be seen one eye which I assume is Big Mam's, those eyes, they still haunt me, there's no mistaking it. Below him we have hipster Apoo who still hasn't washed his teeth, those piano key looking cavities will be the end of him I tell you.

Under Appo there's aokiji, with some bottle glasses, he doesn't look half bad actually thumbs up. Under him we have doflamingo coming face... after that Akainu with a beard!? What you forgot how to shave after fighting aokiji, was the brain freeze that severe?

Jinbe looking serious, tell me some news oda, last time he changed expression was when luffy brought cry-baby ariel with him to corpse forest! sigh then we have Kid trying to imitate doflamingo even further, because the jacket wasn't enough.

Is that Shanks smirking? fangasm then we have other people, doesn't matter, shanks is smirking!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!

P.S. Luffy is also doing surprise butsex to Monosuke... cannot be unseen!

Chapter itself
We start off with Franky shooting down mr twister and Baby.5, very rudely if I do say so, he didn't even give any warning like a proper shounen character. Anyways as helicopter man starts to fall down very Baby 5 shoots Franky down like the badass maid she is but aparently Franky Shogun is captain america as part time. And thus Captain 'Merica charges at baby 5 but she's too far away, and thus does what every robot with guns armed on his hands does, tosses the shield!

Franky just earned himself a major on stupidity, but anyways pulled that one off because it's an excuse for baby 5 to use her powers. Man I was hoping it'd be awesome, like insanely awesome but... no, just no! Oda! FU! Whe turned into a sharp didlo with legs!? THE FUCK! That's a major boner kill... like holocaust level killing.

sigh anyways mr.twister grabs her by the legs and takes her for a spin, quite literally, the shield gets deflected, because that's what you get when you use barriers as projectiles. It never worked for susan from the fantastic 4 and it won't work for you either franky.

After that excuse of an attack by Baby 5 and Mr.Twister baby 5 turns into another giant dildo with legs, but this time instead of being sharp it flies! And explodes...

Now I know why dildos weren't shown up until now on One Piece, they're off the market for being too deadly. Cesar wakes up by the explosion of pleasure and remembers the one night stand he had with law who in the end of it all gave him smoker's heart. Still a btter love story than twilight.

Oh and Smoker and Caesar did a suicide pack without Smokers consent, hope he enjoys the afterlife with the guy whose power is really really REALLY bad breath.

Back to the strawhats, we see Law calling luffy out for being unable to follow the 3 step plan for dummies he devised to catch Mr.Ram horns and orders him to get on his van full of children. This totally doesn't make him sound like a pedo or a kidnapper at all! Luffy says he won't enter until his friends join the orgy.

The rest of the people, well... Brook and Chopper aren't really people but yeah they arrive and enter the van together manly tear what a beautiful story.

Monosuke learns that is father is now a statue made from the remains of a giant lizard blob, and well basically sheds a tear or two, that part was a little too rushed in my oppinion, there could have been some good drama out of that scene but I guess Oda just isn't into making dragons cry, but raping dragons, that's okay, isn't that right luffy.

Now onto the best part of this chapter!

Monet is still alive and talking to Dolfamingo, not sure thou, but anyways the guy is telling her the current status of the situation at hand and says he wants everyone to get killed, toddlers included. He tells the audience there's another last ditch weapon made only to kill everything in that island aside from Caesar, and Monet tells joker she knew already and is already infront of the button.

Dolfamingo says sorry to her and she shows her devotion to Joker the God, by putting her wing over the button ready to click it and leave us all on suspense.

Monet's smile and will in these last 2 pages really were creepy and amazing, I could really feel her loyalty, her expression is flawless. If she didn't click the button I'd be a little saddened even if it implies she will die because of it, even so Monet you were a great character, evil or not you sticked to what you really wanted, you're nonetheless a great woman.

Okay end of chapter, not gonna rate with numbers, I left my opinion up there in that pool of insanity.

P.S. Even for a long review I still think it's pretty short...