User blog comment:Monkey d strawhat/Begining of the End of the Era prediction/@comment-4754162-20120816050232

Nami: idiot this means the strongest marines will be hunting us even kizaru might come again

Sanji: let him come he was the main reason i went to that okama hell

sweat runs down crocodiles cheak

This part (above) made me laughed! I see what you are doing there... YOHOHOHO!!!

A few things MDS:


 * need to work on your stops, commas, exclaimation marks and question marks. Some sentences spoken out may be read in different intonation depending on what you use (exclaimation or just stop or comma etc)


 * also need to work on the paragraph breaks, or at least make it clearer so reader can distinguish obviously that the scene is switching to another etc

Overall, a good read. If you have a good storyline in mind, do continue ^_^